Breathe, dammit!
by Mrs. Wilbur Robinson
Summary: Oneshot. 4-year old Wilbur just doesn't know when to quit...


**_A/N: I was inTarget the other day, buying a Wilbur PEZ lolly thing (lol..!_****_) when I saw a kid stomping his foot and screaming when he wouldn't get what he wanted. I wrote this in the car on the way home ;) Hope you enjoy. Reviews rock my ridiculous realm! _**

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Franny strolled down another aisle of the electrical warehouse, 4-year old Wilbur racing around her feet. He picked up every possible item on the lowest shelf, then tugged urgently on his mother's dress.

"Mum! Look!"

Franny sighed and bent down, tugging the objects from the boy's arms and putting them back in place.

"No, Wilbur."

"But _muuuuum_!"

It surprised Franny every day how loud her toddler's voice could get. But she had to hide a smile- her husband, Cornelius, had been the one to invent over half the things their child had begged for. Not that Wilbur cared- everything looked so different when placed in cardboard boxes and stamped with cool stickers.

Franny shook her head at Wilbur, who pouted and crossed his arms in a huff. She sighed, continuing her search for a new H.V, or Holovision. Wilbur himself had been the culprit to expertly crash the old one, after curiously experimenting with his juice box and the fuse box. _Speaking of inventions, where's Cornelius gotten to? _She wondered, looking back up the aisle. He was nowhere to be seen. She checked her watch, and sighed again.

"Wilbur, have you seen daddy?"

Franny was only half-surprised when he didn't answer. When refused a toy, his new tactic was to hold his breath until he went purple from lack of oxygen. A couple of days ago Cornelius had gone spare when his son refused to breathe until he bought a Captain Time Travel backpack. Franny didn't succumb to this trick, because she knew that Wilbur would never usually get beyond half a minute before sucking in huge gulps of air. Hearing the telltale panting noises behind her, Franny walked quickly down the corridor as little Wilbur struggled to keep up. 

Spying a certain blonde's hair between shelves, she found Cornelius almost drooling over some new laser cutter. She tapped him on the shoulder, and he started.

"Franny! Sorry, I just saw-"

"Don't worry about it. Can we look at those H.V's now? I wanna get out of here as quick as possible."

Cornelius looked from Franny's irritated face to his son, who was a bright shade of pink and was breathing heavily. He nodded in understanding, and picked up his over-enthusiastic child.

"Hey there, little buddy. Hope you haven't been giving mummy a bad time."

Wilbur climbed onto his dad's shoulders, pulling out hair as he did so. Cornelius winced, moving a foot away from his nose as the small family made their way across the store. 

"It's unfair! Mummy won't buy me _anything_! That's why I love _you_ daddy, you always buy me the coolest stuff..." Wilbur ranted on. Franny raised an eyebrow at her sheepish husband, who shrugged. Wilbur laughed at the movement and started rocking every which way, gripping the scientist's hair tightly.

"_Ouch_! Wilbur, cut that out!"

Wilbur ignored his father, choosing instead to hold out his right arm and make all the nearby items along the top shelf fall to the floor with echoing _bang_s. Every person in their section turned to see who was making such a racket, and Franny had just about had enough.

"Wilbur James Robinson! You will cut that out _now_!" She growled, as Cornelius stammered apologies to various employees while removing his son from behind his head. The manager picked up two objects, holding them out with an eyebrow raised.

"I expect you will be paying for these? You broke it, you bought it."

Franny nodded wordlessly, took the two ruined boxes and stalked off, leaving the boys to scurry behind. Cornelius held out a hand for the packages, checking the price tags. What he saw nearly gave him a heart attack. How could they even _remotely _afford the H.V now? Franny had a similar train of thought, because she headed for the checkout instead. Wilbur stopped in his tracks.

"Where are we going?"

Cornelius knelt down to his son's level. He whispered,

"Home, son. I think you've done enough damage today. Just...stay out of mummy's way, alright?" 

Wilbur thought this through, sucking his thumb.

"So...no H.V?" Cornelius shook his head. Wilbur's eyes welled up, and Cornelius could already see the beginning signs of a tantrum.

"But _dad_! You _promised_!" Wilbur yelled, again attracting the attention of more than a few customers. Cornelius saw Franny at the checkout, watching him with a nasty smile and a raised eyebrow as if to say, _You see what I have to put up with?_

Cornelius groaned, picking up his crying son again. 

"We _will _get it...just not for a few months or so." This did not cheer Wilbur up in the slightest. He glared at his father, then promptly sucked in a deep breath, screwing his eyes shut. Cornelius paled, and hurried over to his wife.

"Franny, he's doing that thing again..."

"He's not getting it."

"He's scaring me."

"Ignore him. It'll only last a minute before he needs air."

Cornelius glanced down at his child, trying his upmost to ignore the ugly puce colour Wilbur was turning. He checked his watch, then shifted his weight between feet uneasily. He couldn't stand it anymore.

"Franny..."

"_What_?" She snapped, her eyes blazing. He cringed.

"Do something. Anything. Tell him we'll buy it-"

"Cornelius, your salary for the last _three months _just paid for these two broken bits of junk. Wilbur's not getting an ice-cream, let alone a new H.V!"

"But- he's going blue!" 

Franny turned, exasperated, to face her son. What surprised her most was that Cornelius was absolutely right. She dropped the boxes as Wilbur swayed on the spot, eyes and mouth still shut tight,the blue tinge on his face evident. Cornelius had had enough. Pushing past annoyed customers in line, he strode quickly back into the store, headed for the Holovision section for the largest screen they had. 

"_One-nil to the annoying brat of a son,"_ Cornelius breathed through gritted teeth, as he heard a choked whoop of delight from behind him.

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End file.
